I can’t help if you don’t want me to.

I am here to assist you with your concerns, but it seems like you might not be open to receiving help at the moment. Your resistance and disconnection from yourself could be signs that you are not ready to engage yet. It's important to acknowledge that everyone has their own pace in the grieving process, and it's okay if you're still in denial or struggling with setting boundaries. Taking the time to understand and accept your feelings is a crucial part of healing.

Grief is a complex and personal journey, and there are different stages that individuals may go through. One common model is the Kübler-Ross model, which includes five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, it's important to note that not everyone experiences these stages in the exact same order or for the same duration. It is a fluid process that varies from person to person.

Despite going to Bible School myself, I felt led to study Counselling in a secular environment, to learn the right language for me to communicate accordingly without the overzealous misuse of ‘christianese’ that is very common in the Church environment where I grew up. We need to have these conversations together, in a language that we both understand, and I can try to explain.

During the denial stage, individuals may find it difficult to accept the reality of the loss. They may dismiss or minimize their feelings, hoping that things will return to how they were before. Denial can serve as a protective mechanism, allowing individuals to gradually process the overwhelming emotions they are experiencing.

Resistance and disconnection from oneself can be seen as manifestations of this denial. It's a way of avoiding the pain and sadness that comes with acknowledging the loss. However, it's important to eventually confront these emotions and work through them in order to move forward in the healing process.

Setting boundaries is another aspect that may be challenging during the grieving process. It is common to feel overwhelmed and emotionally drained, making it difficult to engage with others or take on additional responsibilities. Recognizing and communicating your needs to those around you is crucial in establishing healthy boundaries. This may involve saying no to certain requests or taking time for self-care without feeling guilty.

Remember that grief is a unique and personal experience, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It's important to be patient with yourself and seek support when you feel ready. Whether it's through therapy, support groups, or talking to trusted friends and family, reaching out to others can provide comfort and guidance during this challenging time.

Please let me know if there's anything specific I can assist you with, or if you'd like more information on coping strategies for the grieving process.