The Presence of the Therapist
As an Integrated Therapist with extensive training in various approaches to Counseling, it is evident that our personal presence inevitably influences the therapeutic environment. Despite our best efforts to maintain professional boundaries, our unique qualities and experiences shape the dynamics of the counseling session. This intrinsic aspect of human interaction cannot be overlooked or disregarded.
I have had a great feedback from several of my clients who have mentioned the ‘physical warmth’ and the ‘soothing sound of my voice’ that draws them into a state of calm and safety. Such that, just by ‘being with me’ in the room, has been ‘a pleasurable experience.’
This is the ‘part of me’ that has always been there. Even before my training and experience. It cannot be falsely replicated by myself or anyone else.
Our presence in the therapy room serves as a silent but powerful force that impacts the client-therapist relationship. Just like a mirror reflecting back to the client, our demeanor, body language, and tone of voice all convey subtle messages that can either enhance or hinder the therapeutic process. For example, a therapist who exudes warmth and empathy may create a sense of safety and trust for the client, thus facilitating deeper exploration and healing.
Many of my lecturers, colleagues, family, friends and strangers, have pointed out the feeling that they get when I come into the room. Or when I speak. They call it the ‘IT.’ “You’ve just got IT,” they would say. I don’t know what it is but it definitely exists.
Research in the field of psychotherapy supports the notion that the therapist's personal qualities play a significant role in the effectiveness of counseling outcomes. Studies have shown that factors such as authenticity, congruence, and emotional attunement are key ingredients in building a strong therapeutic alliance. By acknowledging and embracing our own humanity, therapists can connect with clients on a deeper level and co-create meaningful change.
Have the confidence to bring that part of yourself into the counselling room because it doesn’t take away from the experience. In fact, it can only help to exude a deeper level of authenticity of ourselves and towards our clients.
In essence, while we may strive to adhere to professional standards and evidence-based practices, it is crucial to recognize the impact of our presence in the counseling room. Our authenticity and genuine engagement are essential components of the therapeutic process, guiding clients towards self-discovery and growth. Embracing our unique selves as therapists allows us to truly connect with others and make a positive difference in their lives.